Lilac in Winter by Susan Pogorzelski

Author:Susan Pogorzelski [Pogorzelski, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Brown Beagle Books
Published: 2019-03-26T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirty-Three

Seven Months Earlier

My mom walks me down the aisle because I’m too weak to make it on my own, and I’ll be damned if I’m rolling myself in a wheelchair with a hundred pairs of eyes on me. To anyone who doesn’t know my body is trying to kill me, I’m sure it looks like a sweet moment of family bonding, and how lovely it was for Allison to want everyone to play a part in her ceremony. To my mother, who is squeezing my hand a little too tight, I’m sure it’s a reminder that this might be the first and last time she’ll be a Mother of the Bride.

I force myself not to look at her. I don’t think I’ll be able to get through this if I do.

I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid—up there with Allison’s friends from college who are named Jasmine and Belle and Ariel like this is some farcical parade of Disney princesses—but there’s a seat with my name on it between my parents in the first row of pews. In a few minutes, my dad will join us and sit on the other side of me, but now I’m acting as a buffer between my mom and Rebecca. Every so often, Rebecca will glance up from her program and smile nervously at one of us, but when she catches my mother’s eye, she’ll find the names of the wedding party just as fascinating as I do.

“Where’s Mulan?” I whisper to my mom.

“What?”

“Mulan. Or Pocahontas. They’re missing the show.”

“For the love of God, Lilac, I cannot handle your nonsense today.”

Lilac. I bet I would have made a great Disney princess if I were strong enough to stand up there with them.

The music changes, and the congregation rises and turns towards the door. My mom helps me to my feet, and on the other side, I can feel someone’s light touch on my back to help steady me. When I glance over my shoulder, Rebecca pulls her hand away quickly, like maybe she’s overstepped, but I smile and whisper thanks. She’s not the one I blame.

My sister’s making her way down the aisle. Everyone is angled towards her, turned away from us. Everyone but one. Nathan is sitting a few rows back, but it’s hard to miss him, even in the crowd. While everyone else is watching the bride, he’s watching me.

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